I was off. Right from the start. Maybe it because I read some of the comments about my presentation in the survey the day before (aka not very good), or maybe it was from the couple beers I had at dinner, or maybe the fact that I couldn’t sleep at all, or probably just a mix of all of those, but it wasn’t my day.
We ask the athletes to fill out a survey for us after the presentation so we can gauge how the athletes like the program, and what needs to be adapted. I genuinely love reading the evaluations because then I can learn from them and make any adjustments to my presentation as needed. Negative scores/comments are constructive criticism which makes me better. I mean, they aren’t terrible. And I shouldn’t be hard on myself. There are 3 of us from the USOC who give a part of the presentation, and we deliver the boring stuff. We aren’t the inspirational Olympic legends, so of course, our scores are consistently lower than theirs. Overall, the program is rated very high. Scores from 1-5, 5 being the best. Every section, even mine, averages over a 4, so it’s not like I am doing a bad job, I just don’t have the most exciting presentation.
This day, I did make little changes, but when I was presenting, I just felt like I was in a fog and no one was receptive to anything I said. When I finished my part, I just wanted to leave. Go back to bed and take a nap. I was down on myself because I kept on thinking about what I could do to make my presentation better. And I couldn’t come up with anything. The subject matter (rules to abide by at the Olympics) is hard to make that entertaining. Despite their importance, no one cares to be lectured about it. I would just have to come to understand that and realize that this was my job—to make them aware of the rules. I feel like they associate their dislike of the rules with me and my presentation.
Once again, I read the evaluations and felt dejected by some low scores. All I want to do is help them, and here I am, the big brother bully dictating all the rules. Cool role.
I worked in the office for a bit. I asked around to help out other people, but all the other groups had already been there a week before I got there and are set in their roles. There’s the transport group, and the Ralph Lauren group, and the Nike group, etc, etc. We are the TUAP group and although our presentation is just for a few hours in the morning, we aren’t assigned to help anywhere else. Despite being a “team,” our USOC team seems more separated than united in each of its factions. I didn’t anticipate that.
I did try to sneak out for a little nap, but then just went back into the office to work more. Even though other people don’t need my help on team processing things, it was still a Monday and a work day where I had to keep up with my actual job. Oh yes, did I mention, that will still exist throughout this. Luckily, my job gets crazy leading up to the “athlete entry deadline” (which was July 18th) and then again during the Games, meaning that not too much was coming in.
Sometimes we have these days. We are just frustrated. We just want to do more, to do better, to make an impact or difference. But, I can’t be too hard on myself. I always have been. I always want to do better, do better, do better. But, all I can do is help where I am needed, do the little things, step by step, and keep a positive attitude. No matter how down I feel, I need to remember that just being positive and friendly and having a smile on my face could be helping. Even in the slightest way.
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